10 Self Imposed Road Blocks for Women Starting Businesses Part III

At this point we have covered the first seven road blocks that women build to stop themselves from starting businesses.  I hope that you have taken the time to study them and have acknowledged where you might have issues that need to be addressed.  At this point you have dealt with most of the mental issues with the exception of #10, which is a big one.  However, even with that one still out there you should be feeling pretty good about moving forward with your business ideas.  Before we take a look at the last three road blocks let's get a quick reminder about the first seven. 

ROAD BLOCK #1 - Not Enough Money
ROAD BLOCK #2 - Negative Self-Talk
ROAD BLOCK #3 - Comfort Zone Addiction
ROAD BLOCK #4 - Doubting Your Business Idea
ROAD BLOCK #5 - Not Knowing Where To Start
ROAD BLOCK #6 - Not Smart Enough
ROAD BLOCK #7 - Feeling You Have to Know Everything Before You Can Start

ROAD BLOCK #8 - The So-Called Experts (Dream Squishers) - They mean good (well most of the time) your family and friends that is.  You tell them about your dream and how you are going to change your life and your future and they start to tear it apart.  They tell you all the reasons why you are not going to make it and why it absolutely won't work.  I know this may seem off course, but have you ever had the opportunity to watch a bucket of live crabs? 

10 Self Imposed Road Blocks for Women Starting Businesses Part II

So are you still dreaming of the possibilities?  Have you taken the time to absorb Part I of this series and over come the first three road blocks?  Have you noticed the recurring theme?  Most of the barriers that women put up are mental or at least have to be dealt with mentally.  So far we have discussed the first three road blocks that women put up when facing the possibility of starting their own businesses. 

ROAD BLOCK #1 - Not Enough Money
ROAD BLOCK #2 - Negative Self Talk
ROAD BLOCK #3 - Comfort Zone Addiction 

Today we will focus on the next four road blocks.

ROAD BLOCK #4 - Doubting Your Business Idea - Oh you knew I would get to it eventually - the big "D" word and I'm not talkin' divorce.  No sister, the big "D" word is Doubt. 

10 Self Imposed Road Blocks for Women Starting Businesses Part I

Everyday there are women in this world that decide it is time for them to step up to the plate and create a better life for themselves and their families.  They start to dream about what could be if they had more money, more time for their families, more time for themselves or simply the ability to make the choices they want instead of the choices that are forced upon them.  If you have not taken the time to day dream lately I think you should try it right now.  Close your eyes and let yourself imagine the possibilities.  Be sure to come back and finish reading since I know you are probably so tired you could fall asleep.

Could you picture yourself in a better, happier place?  Were your children well cared for, happy and well educated?  Were your bills paid when they arrived in the mail instead of waiting till the very end of the grace period to pay them?  Were your aging parents well cared for?  Did you quit your job because you are finally in control of your own finances?  Did you have someone to clean your house so you would have time to spend playing with your children?  (It's OK to dream about that - God doesn't take off points if you have someone clean your house.)  So what did you imagine you were doing to make this extra money for these things and to have these abilities and choices? 

Exciting Decisions About Life!

I am so excited!  About so many things I do not know where to begin.  Who am I kidding?  I have two exciting new projects in the works and I can't wait to tell you about them.  First I am going to tell you quickly about a new website I am creating for a passion of mine.  Back in 2002 I started learning about personalities and how those personalities can almost always predict the direction a person will take.  I love figuring out someones personality and truly get a kick out of being right (by the way I am a D personality on the DISC scale and that explains that).  So anyway I am creating a website called Personality-Quiz-Tools.com to teach others how to recognize different personalities and be able to use that information to make their lives better.  I will be talking about it in detail on My Social Media Project Blog. I just put the homepage up today on Personality-Quiz-Tools so please check it out.  I would love your feed back.

Now for my super exciting news!!  If you have read my past blogs then you know that I am at a cross roads in my life - the intersection of What Do I Want To Do With The Rest Of My Life Avenue and I Feel Like I Am Running Out Of Time Street.  I did know one thing all along and that is that I want to do something to help women.  God has truly placed that on my heart and I am going to do something about it.  I have spent much time contemplating my strengths and talking to everyone I could about what I should do.  I am so excited to say that I have finally decided on the path.

How NOT to Say Your Sorry

I have recently witnessed several people, who will remain nameless but don't deserve it, issue apologies that I found to be appalling. Is it possible that "Saying Your Sorry" has become a lost art form? Do peoples parents no longer teach them how to feel true remorse and issue heart felt apologies?

As a lover of knowledge I thought we should start with the definition of remorse - a sense of deep regret and guilt for something one did (from thefreedictionary.com). That definition includes the words regret and guilt, two words that seem to evade us in our society today. It seems that lots of people are only sorry when they get caught - regret and guilt do not even come into the equation until they are caught. The words from "Take a Bow" by Rhianna come to mind "Don't tell me your sorry cause your not, Baby when I know your only sorry you got caught."

I thought I would list several things not to say or do when you are apologizing:

1. Do Not use the word "but" in an apology. As in "Honey I am so sorry that I backed over your cat but if you hadn't let it go outside it wouldn't have happened."
2. Do Not blame someone else for your actions in your apology. Same example as #1.
3. Do Not rationalize your actions in your apology. As in "Sir I am sorry I ran into your car. If Chevrolet put better brakes on these vehicles it wouldn't have happened." Wow it is amazing how much that sounds like blaming someone else (#2). If I had used the word but in the sentence I could have covered points 1, 2 & 3.
4. Never ever ever ever start an apology with "I know you want me to apologize so...."
5. Probably the single most irritating mistake that people make when apologizing is the tone they use. There are two extremely different meanings when someone says "Sorry" in a remorseful tone than when they say "SORRY" in a harsh hard loud tone. If you don't believe me just ask a child.

I know that you could probably add many items to this list and I look forward to your comments. So now what? I hope you are thinking about how you present your apologies. It seems to me that it is pretty easy. I think that apologies without remorse do more damage than good. Do not insult the other person with a bogus apology. If you can truly say you are feeling regret and guilt, thus remorse, an apology should be straight forward. Say you are sorry, take full responsibility for your actions, assure the wronged party that you have learned from your mistake and will not do it again.  Most of all mean what you say!

Change and the Inspired Life

It is that time of year! You know the one where everything starts changing. We all know those famous lines by Reinhold Niebuhr "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change; the courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." Ralph Waldo Emerson said "We change, whether we like it or not." But Gallagher said it best "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." I just threw that one in because it made me laugh.

I went to Wendy's yesterday to get the kids some lunch and while I was in line I was watching the buzzing of activity in the McNeese State University dorms that were across the street. Students and parents were coming and going (and sweating) getting ready for their most current change in life. Most of those kids were in their late teens or early twenty's and I wonder if they understand the significance of where they are in life and the fact that they can change their whole future with choices and changes they make right now.

Then as I drove off I saw another woman, she looked to be in her early 30's, leaving the campus with her 4 small children in tow and a hand full of papers. I drove past her wondering what was she up to. Did she just enroll in school? Was she just picking up paperwork for someone else? My mind decided she was enrolling in school to change her future. What a wonderful thought. I sure hope she was. Was she taking that small step of change that would make her future and her children's future better?

School starts here in Lake Charles in two days. My kids are both really excited. They are tired of being home all the time and really look forward to getting back to school and seeing all of their friends. They are both in high school, which happens to be the same high school I went to, and I have to admit that I often feel the change in my life when I am dropping them off or picking them up. There have been many times when I am driving in front of the school and really expect to see my friends walking across the street from the parking lot. Where did those 25 years go? LOL When did I become a parent? Obviously a long time ago and I know you probably think I am crazy but there are days when I think to myself "Whoa, I am a parent."

Things change - that is just a fact. But it is how we anticipate, deal with and/or react to those changes that form our future. Do we always like change? Absolutely not! Changes brought on by death, divorce, disaster, the economy are usually not fun but as time pass we can see how our reactions to those changes affected our future. Do you resist change? I know several people who are truly resistant to change and would rather complain about change than do anything about it. Do you embrace change? Although change can be very scary it also can give you a fresh start, a new outlook and a renewed spirit.

So by now I hope you are ready to embrace change. Maybe there are things in your life you would like to change and just aren't sure how to. My personal experience has taught me that if you change one small thing at a time you will eventually see huge changes. A great example would be that maybe you should change the way you react when someone cuts you off in traffic or turns in front of you. Now if you notice I used the word "should" instead of "want to" in that sentence because a lot of people may not want to but they should change. I changed my reactions by making an effort to think about it at that moment. Did it happen immediately - no - but it did make me start thinking about it more often and after a while I wasn't even having to think about it any more. I was really just changing a bad habit but that small change in my life probably helped to reduce my blood pressure a little bit and my kids aren't scared to ride in the car with me. LOL

So what scary change is coming up for you or what change do you need to make in your life? I would love to know - please leave a comment and be sure to come back and let us know how your change is going.

Sometimes Others See It So Clearly!

Have you ever heard the saying "When the student is ready the teacher will come!"? I have always interpreted that to mean that when we are ready for the answers they will appear clearly. If you read my previous blog you know that I am at a crossroads in my life. My children are almost grown, we recently sold our family businesses and I am trying to decide what I will do with the rest of my life. I have known for some time now that God wants me to help women but that is a broad category. I have spent many hours pondering what exactly that means. Not to say I feel confused, I absolutely do not feel that way, the woman of proverbs did not feel that way. It is just that the possiblities are endless and as human beings we need a path to focus on.

I don't know about all of you but I have to admit that I do not always feel comfortable asking for help. I have recently started taking a class about Social Media through http://www.selfgrowth.com/ and had the privilege of being taught by Nancy Marmolejo. Nancy is a social media guru (and I don't use that word lightly). She has a large following on twitter and facebook and she has a presence about her that just makes you want to be her friend. You should check her out at her website http://www.vivavisibility.com/. I had a question for Nancy about whether something she was working on could help me so I finally summoned the courage and contacted her on Facebook. What happened after that was amazing. Not only did she answer my question but since I had explained my situation she started asking me questions.

• Are you a master of persuasion?


• Can you open women up to opportunities they can't see that the rest of the world sees so clearly?


• What did you do in Mary Kay that was astounding and enjoyable? (Oh, I am not sure I told you but I was a Mary Kay Sales Director for five years.)


• What is the big transformation you can help others achieve?


• Why get this transformation from you versus the next person? (This one I am still working on)

It was like the proverbial light bulb went off over my head. Sometimes the answers are right there in front of you and you can't see them. What do I do best? What was I born to do? Anyone who knows me knows the answer is easy - I love business. I am not sure what my first words were but it could have been "profitable". LOL Nancy went on to remind me that there are lots of things that I know that a lot of other women may not. Did you know that, according to the US Census Bureau, as of July 2008 in the United States alone there are over 118 million women over the age of 18 and there are over 10.1 million women owned businesses in the United States? Those numbers astound me.

So what does all this mean? It looks like the best way for me to help women would be by focusing on their businesses, whether they own a business or just want to own a business. Maybe help them to determine their passions and understand the impacts of those passions on their daily life. Building a relationship of trust with these women which will extend beyond their business life and help them grow personally and spiritually as well. Oh my heart is racing thinking of the possibilities and the challenge. I do so love a challenge!