10 Self Imposed Road Blocks for Women Starting Businesses Part III

At this point we have covered the first seven road blocks that women build to stop themselves from starting businesses.  I hope that you have taken the time to study them and have acknowledged where you might have issues that need to be addressed.  At this point you have dealt with most of the mental issues with the exception of #10, which is a big one.  However, even with that one still out there you should be feeling pretty good about moving forward with your business ideas.  Before we take a look at the last three road blocks let's get a quick reminder about the first seven. 

ROAD BLOCK #1 - Not Enough Money
ROAD BLOCK #2 - Negative Self-Talk
ROAD BLOCK #3 - Comfort Zone Addiction
ROAD BLOCK #4 - Doubting Your Business Idea
ROAD BLOCK #5 - Not Knowing Where To Start
ROAD BLOCK #6 - Not Smart Enough
ROAD BLOCK #7 - Feeling You Have to Know Everything Before You Can Start

ROAD BLOCK #8 - The So-Called Experts (Dream Squishers) - They mean good (well most of the time) your family and friends that is.  You tell them about your dream and how you are going to change your life and your future and they start to tear it apart.  They tell you all the reasons why you are not going to make it and why it absolutely won't work.  I know this may seem off course, but have you ever had the opportunity to watch a bucket of live crabs? 

10 Self Imposed Road Blocks for Women Starting Businesses Part II

So are you still dreaming of the possibilities?  Have you taken the time to absorb Part I of this series and over come the first three road blocks?  Have you noticed the recurring theme?  Most of the barriers that women put up are mental or at least have to be dealt with mentally.  So far we have discussed the first three road blocks that women put up when facing the possibility of starting their own businesses. 

ROAD BLOCK #1 - Not Enough Money
ROAD BLOCK #2 - Negative Self Talk
ROAD BLOCK #3 - Comfort Zone Addiction 

Today we will focus on the next four road blocks.

ROAD BLOCK #4 - Doubting Your Business Idea - Oh you knew I would get to it eventually - the big "D" word and I'm not talkin' divorce.  No sister, the big "D" word is Doubt. 

10 Self Imposed Road Blocks for Women Starting Businesses Part I

Everyday there are women in this world that decide it is time for them to step up to the plate and create a better life for themselves and their families.  They start to dream about what could be if they had more money, more time for their families, more time for themselves or simply the ability to make the choices they want instead of the choices that are forced upon them.  If you have not taken the time to day dream lately I think you should try it right now.  Close your eyes and let yourself imagine the possibilities.  Be sure to come back and finish reading since I know you are probably so tired you could fall asleep.

Could you picture yourself in a better, happier place?  Were your children well cared for, happy and well educated?  Were your bills paid when they arrived in the mail instead of waiting till the very end of the grace period to pay them?  Were your aging parents well cared for?  Did you quit your job because you are finally in control of your own finances?  Did you have someone to clean your house so you would have time to spend playing with your children?  (It's OK to dream about that - God doesn't take off points if you have someone clean your house.)  So what did you imagine you were doing to make this extra money for these things and to have these abilities and choices? 

Exciting Decisions About Life!

I am so excited!  About so many things I do not know where to begin.  Who am I kidding?  I have two exciting new projects in the works and I can't wait to tell you about them.  First I am going to tell you quickly about a new website I am creating for a passion of mine.  Back in 2002 I started learning about personalities and how those personalities can almost always predict the direction a person will take.  I love figuring out someones personality and truly get a kick out of being right (by the way I am a D personality on the DISC scale and that explains that).  So anyway I am creating a website called Personality-Quiz-Tools.com to teach others how to recognize different personalities and be able to use that information to make their lives better.  I will be talking about it in detail on My Social Media Project Blog. I just put the homepage up today on Personality-Quiz-Tools so please check it out.  I would love your feed back.

Now for my super exciting news!!  If you have read my past blogs then you know that I am at a cross roads in my life - the intersection of What Do I Want To Do With The Rest Of My Life Avenue and I Feel Like I Am Running Out Of Time Street.  I did know one thing all along and that is that I want to do something to help women.  God has truly placed that on my heart and I am going to do something about it.  I have spent much time contemplating my strengths and talking to everyone I could about what I should do.  I am so excited to say that I have finally decided on the path.

How NOT to Say Your Sorry

I have recently witnessed several people, who will remain nameless but don't deserve it, issue apologies that I found to be appalling. Is it possible that "Saying Your Sorry" has become a lost art form? Do peoples parents no longer teach them how to feel true remorse and issue heart felt apologies?

As a lover of knowledge I thought we should start with the definition of remorse - a sense of deep regret and guilt for something one did (from thefreedictionary.com). That definition includes the words regret and guilt, two words that seem to evade us in our society today. It seems that lots of people are only sorry when they get caught - regret and guilt do not even come into the equation until they are caught. The words from "Take a Bow" by Rhianna come to mind "Don't tell me your sorry cause your not, Baby when I know your only sorry you got caught."

I thought I would list several things not to say or do when you are apologizing:

1. Do Not use the word "but" in an apology. As in "Honey I am so sorry that I backed over your cat but if you hadn't let it go outside it wouldn't have happened."
2. Do Not blame someone else for your actions in your apology. Same example as #1.
3. Do Not rationalize your actions in your apology. As in "Sir I am sorry I ran into your car. If Chevrolet put better brakes on these vehicles it wouldn't have happened." Wow it is amazing how much that sounds like blaming someone else (#2). If I had used the word but in the sentence I could have covered points 1, 2 & 3.
4. Never ever ever ever start an apology with "I know you want me to apologize so...."
5. Probably the single most irritating mistake that people make when apologizing is the tone they use. There are two extremely different meanings when someone says "Sorry" in a remorseful tone than when they say "SORRY" in a harsh hard loud tone. If you don't believe me just ask a child.

I know that you could probably add many items to this list and I look forward to your comments. So now what? I hope you are thinking about how you present your apologies. It seems to me that it is pretty easy. I think that apologies without remorse do more damage than good. Do not insult the other person with a bogus apology. If you can truly say you are feeling regret and guilt, thus remorse, an apology should be straight forward. Say you are sorry, take full responsibility for your actions, assure the wronged party that you have learned from your mistake and will not do it again.  Most of all mean what you say!